Three Paths Diverged in the Woods or Something.

My thoughts tend to run in circles. I’m big on committing to some idea fully, then one day I’ll realize there’s another direction I can go to be happier and I’ll switch. This isn’t even just with the big things. I’ll wake up craving ice cream and make a plan to get it later in the day. Then afternoon comes and I’ll decide that’s not something I need anymore- maybe I want a popsicle.

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Life has been a series of me wanting ice cream, then sometimes deciding to get a popsicle (and most of the time my parents or sister knew I would want the popsicle from the start). I initially turned my thoughts away from going to Penn State, because I believed the only way to feel a school was completely mine was to go somewhere no one in my family had gone before. You can guess where I ended up.

I don’t mean to say that coming to Jacksonville was me sticking to the idea of getting ice cream. Trust me, I debated other options. I just think I’m now realizing how many different directions one can take in life. And by this I mean anyone. A common belief of mine, and I think a lot of people I know, is that there is one general path that will make us happy. The problem with that is most people (including myself) can’t quite, and might never, figure out what this path is. Then what happens- we stay wandering forever?

My friend and I went on a long drive this weekend, and we started using podcasts as a way to kill time. I got hooked on this one towards the end of the trip called “Getting Unstuck” by the Hidden Brain. It drew me in, because it is directly related to what I’ve been blabbing about on this blog- figuring out what your next career move should be. I finished it by myself the next day and then took some time to think about it.

The podcast talked about a few different people, but opened up with a story about a woman who basically had a really solid job then quit for something she thought was going to be an exciting opportunity. That fell through, and so did the next few jobs. She was smart, driven, and experienced. Yet she still could not figure out where to go with her life. They then described something called “design thinking”. In short, he related this question of figuring out what life we want to lead to a designer in Silicon Valley who’s creating a new product. Before even beginning to design a product to solve a problem, they have to think about what the problem is that they have to address. (I really hope that made sense to you, because I feel that I am totally butchering this podcast’s beautifully clear message)

The part that really stuck out to me was the solution they offered for this common career/life problem. Pick three paths that you could follow, they said. Take a look at each one, then decide which one you want to explore further. You may choose the ice cream, but at least you chose something you’ve thought about and are interested in. I’m not going to rip off the whole podcast, so I’ll stop there. But you should definitely take a listen.

I’m so into this idea, because it’s easy and makes tons of sense. There is not just one best version of ourselves- there are so so many. That’s why we each have tons of talents and interests. If we only had one path we were meant to follow, the amount of people to figure their path out would be a pretty sad statistic. I think what I, and a lot of others, are lacking is the chance to sit down and actually think beyond just that ice cream cone that I originally thought I wanted. Like I said earlier- I’ve realized it’s ok to take a step back (even just a few months after graduating) and think about what I really want to put my time and energy into. I haven’t taken too much time to figure out those three paths, but I definitely plan to do some serious thinking and see what comes of it.

I’m starting to ramble now, so I’ll rap it up soon. I just want to tie it back to a conversation I had today with a really awesome and intelligent friend. We are in similar situations and both agreed that the hardest part of this transition is not feeling that same ambition or drive that we were constantly experiencing in college. This lack of drive has made us feel guilty, lazy, and pretty useless. If anyone knows the girl I’m talking about, they know she is one of the most ambitious and self-assured people this side of the Mississippi. I feel like I just spit something out to help her understand how not lazy I know she is, but the words ended up helping me.

How can someone be expected to have ambition when they don’t know what they are striving towards? How can you push yourself down a path when you don’t know where you want it to end?

There were many times in college when I had tons of ambition and motivation to work towards achieving a goal- final papers, my degree, THON positions, etc. The only difference between now and then is that I KNEW the problem I wanted to solve, or the goal I wanted to reach. I wanted to be a THON captain or I had to earn an A on the paper. In other words, I could design the product (steps to get there) in order to solve a problem (reach a goal).

I’ll rap it all up with this- my next step is to keep my eyes open for popsicles. And by popsicles I mean other paths (I hope that was clear). I am open to new opportunities, valuable advice, and apparently podcasts that can help me develop those three paths. And while I’m figuring all this out, it definitely doesn’t hurt getting to enjoy the Florida sun.