Good Things Are Coming, Right?

It’s been a while since I last shared and oh man (!) have there been some changes since then. Last post I took the time to reflect on the “direction” I wanted to head next. I was concerned about a physical place – FL or NJ. That has since led me to return home to live with my family in New Jersey. And because this question has already been a constant – No, I don’t know if I’m here for a long time or just a good time :)

What I felt in Jacksonville this past fall (maybe even longer) was confused, anxious, and definitely unsettled. This last feeling is something I know a lot of others can relate to. I knew that a change needed to me made, at least to just see where else I could find that sort of peace and “sureness” I was looking for – so I changed jobs, moved cities, and left relationships in an effort to change how I felt.

All these changes were exciting at first and got me through the last few months in my FL home. When you first make a decision, it’s easier to put all your faith in the fact that you are DOING something to affect your happiness – and believe it will make all the difference immediately.

Returning home was great for a bit – I got so much time with my siblings, parents, and some friends I grew up with. I traveled for weddings, beach weekends, and visits to cousins – all while having a place to return home to and feel relaxed. But I have to be honest with you, I was NOT expecting the anxiety that would come with adjusting to all these changes.

Without any clear next step, I started to feel lost and trapped. I had no intention of staying in this area past the summer, but when I thought about what I wanted it became a big black hole. It was like I looked into my future and literally had no idea what my purpose would be. Up until now, I found excitement and joy in thinking about what I COULD do instead of what I was doing – thinking, “this job isn’t forever” or, “I could always move here and be closer to these friends”.

So now I did both things – changed jobs and moved – and STILL did not feel content. It felt like I optimistically uprooted everything only to be left with more confusion and a constant lump in my throat. I placed so much pressure on myself to feel grateful, live in the moment, and be satisfied with adapting to a new home. This only caused more anxious thoughts and there have honestly been more mornings than I can count that I spend just crying and praying before starting work from my new home.

I’m sure this seems dramatic - and believe me I think that when reading it back, too. But that’s how I felt (still feel) and I know there are others who feel it, too. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that sharing these feelings out loud is quite literally the only way to see things clearer and regain a sense of hopefulness. If sharing my feelings prompts you to share your own and feel better for it, I’ll gladly be an open book.

So, as per usual, I have a few suggestions if you are feeling a lack of purpose, experiencing anxiety about the future, or just feel stuck and don’t know what is next. If none of these things work, there’s always me to reach out to. Trust me, I’m sure I need the chat, too!

1. TALK to someone: share how you feel with someone you trust. If you want, tell them you are not necessarily wanting advice. Clearly set the stage that you just need to vent it out to recognize the feeling is not as big as you think.

2. OWN your emotions: after saying how you feel out loud, know that this feeling will not last forever. Own that this big, overwhelming, scary feeling is only for now and will be used to push you to do something greater.

3. Take your TIME: I say this in almost every post, but obviously I need the reminder, too. Be gentle with yourself and take the time to make well thought out decisions. Most big decisions made on a whim will only cause temporary happiness, then you will definitely feel the effects.

4. DREAM: just because you don’t know what’s next, doesn’t mean you can’t stop dreaming. And by dreaming, I don’t mean thinking that everything will magically be better in the future. I mean write lists of your ideal job, location, future and then work for it.

Losing my sense of purpose and excitement for what comes next is really what brought me to the lowest point. The only way to come back from that is through research, talking to others in the same boat, and drafting up your dreams on paper.

So DREAM away & never lose sight of the fact that you are deserving of every single dream on that paper. Good things come to those who wait – I’ve seen it happen before!